I just finished massaging my dad's stomach awhile ago and that wasted more than 20 minutes if my time. I just gave my brother my earphones cause he wants to watch his show but my dad wants to sleep now. I told him that I was using them cause Gazel is asleep but instead of asking Damien to bring the computer outside where no one would complain(like I suggested), my dad asked me if I was actually taking priority over him with Gazel. The thing that annoys me most is that everytime I help him, he says good thing happen to good people. I have been massaging his feet every weekend or weekday, when he's home, since I was around 5-6. Ever since he became sick with some stomach illness, he has been asking me to massage his stomach and back using this annoying Yoko Yoko heating rub and it makes my hands unnaturally cold that I dislike it a LOT but he doesn't care when I tell him. Whenever I tell him I won't do something, he will immediately go into a "Then the next time you ask me for something, don't expect anything/ help from me." I find that extremely annoying. To make things worse, he always supports my brother unless it is extremely obvious that I should win the argument. Just yesterday, my brother asked me to let him play with Coco cause I have been playing with her all morning. Then, in the evening, I wanted to use the earphones but my father says that he should use them cause it belongs to him and he was using them first. What kind of excuse is this? I can confirm that my family is very double-standard like that. It's not only my dad. My mom is similar but I always knew that she would support him. He IS a mother's boy. Anyway, the only reason I say my mom would support him is cause of her beautiful saying,"He's younger so you should be more mature." Honestly, I hate that line so much. It's worse when you actually try to be mature, accidentally do something immature ONCE and get scolded for it. Sometimes, when I can't take it, I end up rebelling by going,"If I'm so immature, why not just treat me like a 10 year old?" or "I'm immature what, so why do I have to do this?" Obviously, I feel regret after thinking back but it's not like you can actually think rationally when you have been told this ever since you were 6. Another very common problem is the term 'good girl.'The most common thing is that when one person thinks I'm being good, another will think I'm bad. A simple example would be when my father asks me to wake up my brother for breakfast or for taekwondo class. My brother would complain and yell, my mom will scold me and my dad will say that I should have left it to my mom. Or sometimes the end would be my mom telling me to stop and leave it to her. Annoying. Truthfully, it's during those times where I feel like putting my foot down and yelling at them but, being an "immature" child, it's times like these where I wonder "When are the good thing going to come" or feel like giving up and just kicking the bucket(if you know what that means.) Cause, if I'm dead, wouldn't they all be happier? I mean, yeah, they may be sad for awhile but at least it would make them realize their faults and love my brother more dearly. If I remember correctly, attempting suicide or committing suicide is illegal and you have to pay a fine. I have 1000 stashed up so I think that should be enough. My parents actually borrow from that fund but at least I know I have some way of paying them back. Maybe I should get a part-time job to increase the fund in case the fine is expensive. But I might get more stress and end up making myself even more annoyed and do it earlier than I should.Oh yeah, it's also was my mom's birthday yesterday (it's 1:27 here so...yeah)So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MOM.....Anyway, I'm sorry for the unbeneficial rant. I just wanted to get it all out. If you're still reading till here, thank you for reading. It really bring me joy knowing that there are some people that actually care. Anyway,my throat feels very dry now so I have to go. Bye~
Was listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkoIiJhnXLo
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